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| My Story |
Its hard to say when it all began. I attended a school for the performing arts where I majored in voice, specialized in dance and minored in theatre. I have always been an overachiever and driven internally by desire for perfection. I was known by all as, “Queen of the Artsies.” There were times that questions were asked but I was the master of deception and always knew how to carry on the show. It felt at times like my whole life was a show. There were times I really felt I must have a split personality, because I could be so "on" with a crowd, but completely faded away when the lights were off. I could meld into anyone's environment, but did not know how to make one of my own. I could be in a room full of people yet feel completely alone, I struggled with real intimacy and looked for ways to reinvent myself. I ran in many directions thinking this time it would be different yet my Eating Disorder was close behind me and soon caught up to me.
What really was key in my recovery was that although the voice of Ed was relentless, deep deep inside, like a little whisper in my head, was another voice...it would be years later that I would learn this little voice, the little light that kept me going was my voice...It took me years to build that voice to fill that deep dark bottomless pit that replaced my soul. I discovered and grew to recognize things that I loved, I took action to build my self esteem, I learned how to fill my own space, I became a friend that a friend would like to have, I learned to recognize my achievements, big and small, and I worked to pursue my dreams. I am now proud to tell you that these dreams have allowed me to travel the world from South America to the Polynesian Islands. I have worked in some of the most sought out industries such as Club Med, Airlines and Cruise lines. I have formed lifetime friendships and have found intimacy and trust in my relationships. I have had the opportunity to be a representative of an Island which led me to compete in the Olympics of all beauty pageants—the Miss World competition. However, what I am most proud of is that I was able to achieve all these dreams in spite of Ed. Today, Ed's voice has diminished into to a faint whisper and now a distant memory. With years of therapy under my belt, my work with E.D. support groups, distress centers and the road I have had to walk to get to my destination, can be a great support, motivator and practical guide to coach you down the road you choose for your desired destination. |
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